Tuesday June. 5, 2012:

Diary Dearest,

          

          I can not stress enough on the last sentence of the first paragraph in the introduction to Diary of Memon Me (Me, Myself and Diary Dearest).

         

          Now I'm not sure if this is a universal phenomena or a phenomena at all, but when your sitting in the midst of over I don’t know how many million people from what not corner of the world and your are asked at point blank range, "kya aap memon hai?" (are you a memon?)….befuddled is only one of the words on a very long list along with confused, creeped out, dumb founded, and even slightly insulted.

           

          Like any sudden blow to the face….after the initial shock wears off, realisation dawns. And we remember the classic: "It takes one to know one."

   

          For the likes of new bees like me, its an important lesson to learn how to react to such curve balls. And for all the complicated social etiquettes in general society….a truthful answer with a smile is all it takes….that is that first you have to train to make sure the sudden seasons of rapidly changing emotions stay within your "Pandora's Box". One that I'm sure we all have.

           Moving on….now comes "name the category" part of your test. Its times like these which are best to check up on the you have general knowledge of your family tree….yours along with your granddad's -brother's- daughter's- son's- wife's, not to mention all the "-Walas" of the world.  There should be coaching classes that help young memons and many other groups learn about the categories and species of their respective societies. Yup, and seeing myself..there could be a lot of money to be made there.  

           Controlling how much of "the surprised" expression you give off when you realise that this fellow memon lady your mom is chatting up is your 7th cousin's mother's uncle's wife is critical. You don’t want to use up all you expressing emotions talent in one go..save some for when you find out that you both are "practically" neighbours..

           What happens after the little drop quiz karma happened to whirl at you? I honestly have no clue. From what I hear its stuff like "hum bhi pehle wahaan the." (we used to live there before too) Or "haan haan, bohoot congested hai" (yes indeed, its very congested)….which I am assuming is general small talk. But maybe there are hidden patterns and codes that I have yet to discover and decode.

            One of these "hidden codes" is the number exchanging at the end of, quite literally, the first meeting, the point of which I just never seem to understand. Is it just social protocol or are you really planning on "keeping in touch"? I guess its just another mystery one of the universe..perhaps one that can be solved as we learn more about our expanding realm of stars, galaxies, black holes and also; quite possibly, little green men.

            So to meet new people, going to pubs and "happening" markets is no longer necessary. All you have to do is get ready, after all…first impressions say it all, and walk down the street. Like I said we're all over the place. And if you manage to leave a lasting imprint, you might just end up having a solitaire on your ring finger. Ladies, don’t act too modest..you know exactly what I mean.
                                                
                                                                             And that's that,
                                                                                        Memon Me